Thursday, November 23, 2006

in transit (my little glimpse of hell)

This is the second time I write this, thanks to the crappy internet that is just proving this is a day from hell's reckoning.

The word "FUCK" was the first to escape my lips as i blinked into existance at 6:30am this morning. I was meant to be up at 5:00am to catch a 7:00am flight to singapore. I clearly slept through my alarm.

Dishevelled, I hailed a taxi for the airport, and upon arrival was told I had to purchase a new ticket at the courteous price of 2600 BAHT. The flight would leave at noon, so i had 4 hours to kill in crappy bangkok airport, dying of hunger but unable to eat due to the meds that Franklin The Ulcer had me on. Hurrah.

I got ready to go through security to find that Thailand charges you 500BAHT CASH for the pleasure of leaving their country. And NO, they dont take visa, and NO, the attendants dont speak a word of english, despite working in an international airport. And no, they arent helpful. I swear if i see another thai in uniform before I die it'll be too soon.

I board the plane, and depression and starvation gets masked by exhaustion as I sleep through the whole flight, landing in Singapore at 4pm.
I go through customs, nothing to declare... or so I thought. I have to exit into Singapore just to go back in to catch my Brisbane flight because they couldnt check me all the way through in Bangkok.

But I digress: I have a friend in Vancouver who enjoys all sorts of knives and such weaponry as much as I do, and we often use birthdays and christmas as excuses to exchange that style of gift. Well, I purchased in bangkok something of the similar vain to give him for xmas (and no, I wont say what it is because I know he reads this blog, but hopefully you'll like it or this will all have been in vain, Nat.)
Anyways, before i know what's going on, i'm bein asked to open my bag and then detained by a customs official who wants me to surrender the items in question.

NOT A CHANCE. I paid for them, and i'm not actually STAYING in singapore (where they're illegal it seems).
So I try and explain to the nice man that i'm really only coming out to go back in. He finally gets it, but insists on ESCORTING me to the next terminal so I can check in, just in case i make a mad dash into singapore with my ohsofataltotheworld's weapons. Good God.

I swear this little man following me about would have had no chance in stoppin me if i had decided to run into singapore, unless he knew some sort of lethal martial art, because physically speaking, he's quite.. ancient.
Oh, and he's also standing over my shoulder attempting to read this.. yes, close escort, that's what we call it now.

I get to my checkin, and they tell me "miss, do you have a visa for Oz?"

Yes. Yes i do. I bought one back when i bought my round the world tickets in JUNE.
I emailed STA TRAVEL several times to verify this, and have my new passport put in with it. And yet, NO VISA showed on her screen.

"well miss, for 50dollars you can buy another one, or you can fly tomorrow".


I'm not buying another visa. So i am told there's an internet point in MCDONALDS, and head there to email the idiot at STA TRAVEL who didnt process my visa on time.
No internet at mcdonalds. I'm going to scream.
their server is down.

Finally find a point, and i have a charming email from the idiot at STA TRAVEL asking me redundant questions that make it clear he hasnt processed my visa yet, and that he thinks i havent paid for it yet.

Now I'm waiting for his reply while writing this, knowing full well i need to actually go and call him and hold his hand through the whole process, for my sake as well as his because i'm on the brink of commiting murder.

or suicide. whichever is easier.

GET ME TO AUSTRALIA, i'm losing it.


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